No Such Thing As The News: Series 2, Episode 3
Episode 3 is the third episode of series two of No Such Thing As The News. It features presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski and Dan Schreiber, and was filmed at Up The Creek Comedy Club, in Greenwich, London. Facts During the programme the four hosts each present their favourite fact from the week's news. * This week the Belgian foreign minister Didier Reynders's Twitter account tweeted: "Keep Calm and Love Canada". He only did this because someone else hacked into his account and tweeted a photo of fo rmer Canadian PM Stephen Harper with the message: "Hey Canada fuck you!" (Ptaszynski) * The most famous snail currently in Britain, named Jeremy, is famous because its genitals are the wrong way round. (Schreiber) * If you have $7,500 to spend and you want to attack a country, then you can buy a cyber army of 100,000 fridges or buy a single Tornado jet fighter for 10 minutes. (Harkin) * On average three quarters of the studio audience are criminals. (Murray) Opening At the opening of the episode, Jane Hill and Matthew Amroliwala read some obscure news stories. * Another broom has been mysteriously snapped in half in a Derbyshire village. * An escaped emu has been recaptured at an Irish pub in Florida. * Airport security police on the Greek island of Paxos have discovered a huge mushroom. * The headline of the week from the Daily Hive of Canada: man breaks into Vancouver home, strips naked, makes eggs. Special Correspondence These facts were sent in by audience members. * From Lee Buzzwell: The German city of Ulm is so desperate to stop men urinating on its church because their persistent peeing is eroding its sandstone base. A city spokeswoman said "the problem is likely to persist as long as there are people." (Murray) * From Nicola Tanner: Bristol Zoo's psychic raccoon has predicted the winner of the Great British Bake Off. (Harkin) * From the New York Times via Walt Mankovsky: A committee of media lawyers at the American Bar Association has commissioned a report on Donald Trump's litigation history. It has refused to publish the report, citing the risk of being sued by Mr Trump. (Ptaszynski) Extra Facts At the end of the programme, the presenters each give one more fact they did not have time to discuss. * After 7 months of travel, the European Space Agency's Mars lander crashed into the surface of Mars at over 300km/h, exploding on impact. The ESA have declared the mission a success! (Harkin) * From the Independent: This week, during a debate in Kyrgyzstan's parliament over planned changes to the country's constitution, it emerged that nobody in the country knows where its constitution is. (Ptaszynski) * From the Palm Beach Post: A drunken Wisconsin woman has been freed on bail after using peanut butter to smear 30 cars with obscene graffiti and phallic symbols at a conservation meeting she mistook for a Donald Trump rally. (Murray) Category:No Such Thing As The News Category:No Such Thing As A Fish